Pacifier Weaning – When and How to stop using the pacifier

The best way to make this decision is to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of pacifier use with your pediatrician. Every baby is different, so this conversation should focus on your baby's specific needs and health.

For some babies, especially those born prematurely, pacifiers can play a bigger role in keeping them safe. Your doctor might suggest continuing pacifier use, especially if there is an increased risk of SIDS.

Your pediatrician knows your baby’s health best. That is why you must make this decision together, based on what is right for your little one.

Before we talk about getting rid of the pacifier, let us understand why kids love them so much. Pacifiers are not just little plastic tools—they are like a comfort blanket for your child. When they feel stressed or upset, they often turn to their pacifier to feel better. It is kind of like the comfort they get from nursing, which is why pacifiers can become so important to them.

Think of the pacifier as a quick fix for big emotions. When your little one feels overwhelmed, it helps him calm down fast. It is a simple way for him to manage his feelings when he is still learning how to do that on his own.

So, how do you help your child let go of the pacifier? 

You teach him other ways to handle his emotions. 

• Set up comforting routines,
• Help him use words to say how he feels
• Encourage him to play or cuddle with a favorite toy. 

These new habits can help your child feel just as safe and calm without needing the pacifier.

Letting go of the pacifier is a big deal, for both you and your child. It is not something you want to rush. If there is no urgent reason to remove the pacifier, it is best to wait for a calm and stable time in your child's life.

So, when is not a good time to say goodbye to the pacifier? 

You will want to avoid times when your child is already dealing with other big changes. Here are a few situations to consider:

Beginning daycare

Starting daycare brings new environments, new adults, and new routines. It can be both exciting and a little scary as your child learns to be more independent. For this reason, this may not be the best time to remove the pacifier.

Starting potty training 

Potty training is a major milestone that takes a lot of focus and patience. Your child needs to be emotionally ready for this big step, so it is best not to mix it with weaning off the pacifier.

Welcoming a new sibling

Adding a new brother or sister to the family is a huge adjustment. Your child will need time to get used to sharing your attention. It is exciting, but it can also be a bit unsettling.

Moving homes

Moving to a new home can disrupt your child's sense of familiarity and security. He will need time to adjust to the new house, neighborhood, and possibly a new room. This can feel overwhelming.

The key is to choose a calm time to start weaning off the pacifier when these types of changes are not happening. This way, your child can focus on one adjustment at a time - it will make the process smoother and less overwhelming for everyone involved.

1. Comfort Object

Comfort objects are a great way to help your child transition away from the pacifier. Kids often turn to pacifiers for comfort, so offering a soft toy, blanket, or something similar can make this change easier for them.

Here is how you can make this work.

1. Take your little one on a special trip to pick out his new comfort buddy. Whether it is a soft toy or a cozy blanket, the key is to let him choose something he likes. This helps him feel more attached to it. Just make sure whatever he picks is safe for him to snuggle with.

2. Start introducing this new comfort item during calm, happy times. Maybe during storytime or when you are all cuddled up on the couch. This way, your child starts associating his new buddy with good feelings.

3. Bedtime is when kids often miss their pacifier the most. Make sure their new comfort item is always there when they are winding down for sleep. Let them hold it during storytime or as they drift off. The idea is for this new object to become a comforting presence.

4. If your child usually reaches for a pacifier during car rides or other quiet times, make sure his new comfort buddy is within reach instead. The more he uses it, the more he will see it as a source of comfort.

You can gently encourage your child to use his new comfort item, especially during times he would usually want his pacifier. If he starts looking for it, you might say, "How about we cuddle your teddy bear instead?" This helps him learn to soothe himself in new ways.

The main goal here is to help your child find comfort in something other than the pacifier. It is a small step towards independence and building emotional strength. Plus, it can make bedtime and those tough moments a little easier for everyone.

2. Books

Stories can be a big help during this transition.

Picking the right stories

Children love seeing themselves in stories. When you choose books about letting go of pacifiers, it can really help your little one feel better about the change. These stories often feature characters who go through the same worries and emotions your child might be feeling.

For example, you might find a story about a little bear who decides it is time to stop using his pacifier. The bear might feel a bit nervous at first, but then he discovers all the fun things he can do without it - like talking more clearly or munching on carrots. By the end of the story, the bunny feels proud and happy about the change. Reading a story like this can help your child see that letting go of the pacifier is okay and even a good thing.

Creating your own story

You can also make up your own story just for your child. Maybe you tell a tale about a cat who trades her pacifier for a special teddy bear. This teddy bear is magical and makes her feel happy and safe every time she hugs it. This kind of story can make your child excited about getting a new comfort item and less worried about giving up the pacifier.

When you create or choose a story, think about what your child likes and understands. The story should highlight the positives of not using a pacifier, like clearer speech or being ready for new, exciting stages. 

During storytime, take a moment to talk about how your child feels about saying goodbye to the pacifier. This helps him work through any worries with your support.

Remember, the goal is to make this transition as smooth and comforting as possible for your child. Stories can be a powerful way to help him feel ready for this big step.

3. Distraction

Another tool for helping your little one say goodbye to the pacifier is distraction. This method can work wonders by shifting your child’s attention to something fun and engaging.

One way to distract your child is with music. Keep a list of his favorite songs handy. When they start asking for the pacifier, jump right into a tune he loves. You could sing a favorite nursery rhyme or a playful song with actions. This not only takes his mind off the pacifier but also gives him a comforting connection through music instead.

Another way to distract is by changing the scenery. If your child starts reaching for the pacifier, suggest a quick walk - either outside or just around the house. It is a good way to burn off some energy and get his mind off the pacifier. You could say something like, “Let us go see if we can find any flowers outside,” or “Let us take a walk and see if we can find a ladybug.”

Keep things light and fun and you can help your child forget about the pacifier without any fuss. This makes the transition smoother for both of you.

I know what you are thinking: “I have tried that before, and it did not work.”  I get it. Kids are sharp, and they know when you are just going through the motions. For any approach to work, you need to believe in it and do things with enthusiasm.

Kids are very intuitive. They pick up on your energy. If you are not fully committed, they will sense it and keep asking for that pacifier. But if you make it fun and engaging, they are more likely to follow your lead.

When you start singing that favorite song, put your heart into it. Clap, make silly faces, or even do a little dance - anything that makes it more enjoyable. If you are going for a walk, turn it into a mini-adventure. Act like finding that ladybug or spotting flowers is the most exciting thing ever, even if you have done it a million times. Your excitement will be contagious, and your child will likely join in.

Distraction is not just about taking their mind off the pacifier - it is about replacing it with something positive. When you genuinely enjoy the moment, your child will feel it too and feel more secure without the pacifier.

4. New bedtime routine

If you want to get rid of the pacifier and if your child is using it to fall asleep, you have to also change the bedtime routine. I know this might sound easier said than done, especially when your child is so attached to that pacifier. But here is the thing - you can swap it out for other comforting activities that help your little one fall asleep.

One idea is to bring in a bedtime story. I’m not talking about just any story, but one that is calm and soothing. Something that helps your child feel safe and secure, even without the pacifier. Make this part of your bedtime routine. The comfort of your voice and the rhythm of the story can work wonders in helping him relax.

Another idea is to teach your child some simple relaxation techniques. I know, you might be thinking, “How am I going to get my child to do deep breathing or gentle stretches?” But do not worry - it is not as tricky as it sounds. You can make it fun and simple. Maybe you take deep breaths together or turn stretching into a game. These little exercises can help your child relax his body and mind - it will be easier to fall asleep without the pacifier.

Remember, your belief in these new routines makes a big difference. If you approach bedtime with a calm, confident attitude, your child will pick up on that.

5. Limit Pacifier Use

This approach can be simple and effective, with a little patience and consistency.

One idea is to set up pacifier zones. Pick certain spots in the house where the pacifier is allowed, like the bedroom or a cozy play area. This way, your child starts to connect the pacifier with those specific places. You could say something like, "Your pacifier stays in your room. If you need it, we can go there together." This gives the pacifier a home base, which helps your child start to leave it behind in other parts of the house.

Another strategy is to create pacifier-free times. Maybe during meals, family activities, or playtime, the pacifier takes a little break. You might say, "We don’t use pacifiers at the dinner table. It's time for talking and eating." This teaches your child to enjoy these moments without the pacifier and helps him learn that it is okay to be without it.

Visual aids can be your best friend here. A simple chart or a timer works wonders in showing your child when it is pacifier time and when it is not. For example, set a timer during playtime to signal when it is a pacifier-free zone. This way, your child knows that this is a time to play and have fun without their pacifier.

You can start small, especially if your child is very attached to their pacifier. The first paci-free period can be as short as one minute. It might seem tiny, but it is a great first step. You could say, “Let us put the paci aside just for one minute. Then, we will check the timer and see if we are ready for some more playtime.” This tiny break helps your child start to get used to the idea of being without the pacifier, even if it is just for a short time.

As your child gets more comfortable, you can gradually increase the paci-free time. That one minute turns into five minutes, then ten. The key is to go at your child’s pace. Offer lots of praise and encouragement along the way. You might even turn it into a game. Cheer him on as he tries to “beat the timer” without his pacifier.

It is important to make these moments positive and fun. You could have a special toy or activity ready to keep him engaged during paci-free time. This way, the focus shifts from what he is giving up to what he is gaining - more playtime, more fun, and more chances to explore the world around him without needing his pacifier.

Over time, these small changes can lead to big progress. Your child will start to feel proud of himself for managing without his pacifier, and you will have fewer and fewer pacifier moments throughout the day. It is not about rushing the process - it is about helping your child build confidence and independence at his own pace.

When your child is 18 months or older, you have more options to help them say goodbye to their pacifier.

Talk to your toddler about letting go of the pacifier

Do not just take it away out of the blue, especially not right before bedtime—that will only lead to frustration. Instead, pick a date about five days ahead and start mentioning it during the day. Keep it light and casual, like, "Soon, we are going to say bye-bye to the paci."

It is normal for your child to feel a little upset or worried at first. Let him know you understand. You might say, "I know you love your paci, and it has been with you for a long time. But letting it go will help your teeth stay strong and healthy."

You can make this easier for your child by making it fun. If your toddler loves stories, you can tell him a simple story about a brave little kid who said goodbye to his paci. Keep it simple, fun, and encouraging, so your child feels supported.

1. Magic breathing method to relax

Helping your child manage his emotions without a pacifier can feel like a big issue, but there is a simple trick that works wonders. It is called magic breathing. This method is great for kids 18 months and older, and it is super easy to learn.

Here is how you can get started.

Step 1: Learn it yourself

First, you need to get the hang of it. Here is what you do:

• Put your hands together in front of your chest, like you are saying a prayer.
• As you take a deep breath in, move your hands up and out, just in front of your ears.
• When you breathe out, slowly bring your hands back together.
• Do this a few times. 
• Think of it like you are conducting an orchestra.

Practice it a few times so you feel comfortable. Let your child watch you do it - he will be curious.

Step 2: Get your child involved

After seeing you do it a few times, your child will probably want to join in. Start adding one or two deep breaths into everyday activities, like before eating, napping, playing, or heading outside.

You can even create a “magic” spot at home just for this. It could be a cozy corner with some cushions and your child’s favorite pictures. Make it a fun place he will love to visit.

Step 3. Encourage without any pressure

If your child seems unsure, do not push it. Maybe suggest a fun activity right after the magic breathing. If he still does not want to, just say, "I get it," and do the breathing exercise yourself. 

You can even do it with a stuffed animal to show him it is all about teamwork.

Step 5. Keep it up

Invite your child to join you in the breathing exercises every now and then. If he says no, that is okay. Just keep doing it yourself once or twice a day without making a big deal out of it. Try inviting him back in after a few weeks.

With a little patience and regular practice, most kids eventually join their parents in these breathing exercises. It takes time, but it works. Soon enough, your child will use this technique to calm down before bed or when he is feeling upset.

2. The Teddy Bear method

Here is a fun and gentle way to help your child say goodbye to the pacifier - with a little help from a teddy bear.

1. Let your child pick out a special teddy bear. This bear will become his new best friend, so make sure he loves it.

2. Tell your child that his pacifier is going to become part of the teddy bear. Explain that this way, his pacifier will always be close by, but in a new, cozy form.

3. Cut a small slit in the teddy bear and place the pacifier inside. Make this a special moment. You can even say, “We are saying goodbye to the pacifier as it becomes part of your new teddy friend.”

4. Carefully sew up the teddy bear, securing the pacifier inside. If your child is old enough, let him help with this step so he feels involved in the process.

5. Now that the pacifier is tucked safely inside, the teddy bear is ready to be your child’s new bedtime buddy. Include the teddy in your child’s bedtime routine, just like you did with the pacifier.

3. The Binky Guardian method

Imagine a friendly character who collects pacifiers from brave kids and leaves a special gift in return. This little trick uses your child’s imagination to turn letting go of the pacifier into an exciting adventure.

Implementing the Binky Guardian Approach

1. Tell your child about the Binky Guardian. Explain that this character is a friendly helper who comes to collect pacifiers when children are ready to say goodbye to them. The best part? The Binky Guardian leaves a special gift as a reward.

2. Choose a day for the Binky Guardian's visit. Let your child know ahead of time so he can get excited about it. This also gives him time to get used to the idea.

3. Involve your child in decorating a basket or box for the pacifiers. Let him use stickers, markers, or whatever he likes. This gives your child some control over the process and makes it more fun.

4. Help your child write a little note to the Binky Guardian. He can share how he feels about giving up the pacifier and maybe even mention what kind of gift he hopes to receive. Writing the note helps him express his feelings.

5. Before bedtime, place the decorated basket with the pacifiers and the note in a special spot. Once your child is asleep, it is your time to shine - swap the pacifiers with a gift from the Binky Guardian.

6. When your child wakes up, celebrate! Praise him for being so brave and grown-up. Make it a big deal that he has moved on from the pacifier.

4. The “Telling a secret” method

Harvey Karp has a clever little trick called "gossiping" or as I prefer to call it “telling a secret” method that can help your child let go of his pacifier. It is a fun way to make your child feel proud of himself without putting him on the spot. Basically, you are going to “tell a secret” that your child just happens to overhear, and it works like magic to encourage positive behavior.

Here is how you can use it to help your child move on from the pacifier:

1. Wait for the right moment

Let us say your child has managed to go a little while without his pacifier. Maybe he did not ask for it all morning, or he managed nap time without it. Do not jump in with praise right away. Instead, let that moment settle.

2. Share a “Secret”

Now comes the fun part. Pretend you are telling a secret, but do it just loud enough for your child to hear. You might whisper to a stuffed animal, "Hey, did you notice? Peter did not need his pacifier all morning! He is doing so well!"

3. Repeat with another “listener”

A bit later, do it again, maybe with the family pet this time. Say something like, "Guess what? Peter is getting so big. He did not even ask for his pacifier today!"

This trick makes your child feel proud without putting him in the spotlight. They hear you talking about his progress, and it boosts his confidence in a gentle, non-direct way. It is a simple method, but it can make a big difference as your child starts to let go of his pacifier.

5. Pacifier Tip Trimming - Is it a good idea?

First, let's see what it is?

The "Pacifier Tip Trimming" method helps children gradually lose interest in their pacifier by cutting its tip over time.  This method is suggested by some pediatricians as a way to help children naturally lose interest in their pacifier. 

Here is how this approach works:

1. Trim a tiny piece off the pacifier's tip. Make sure there are no sharp edges or choking hazards!!! You must consult with your pediatricians first!!

2. After the initial cut, watch how your child reacts to the pacifier. The slight change in shape and feel might make the pacifier less comfortable.

3. Over the next few days or weeks, cut a bit more off the tip each time. Keep the cuts small to maintain safety.

Each time you cut the pacifier, inspect it carefully!!! Make sure there are no pieces that could break off and pose a choking risk. The goal is to keep the pacifier safe at all times!

Eventually, the pacifier will be trimmed down to a point where it is no longer appealing or functional for your child. At this stage, your child may naturally reject it.

Is it a good idea?

Probably, you already know about this idea. In my opinion, this is not a good method because it can be dangerous for your child. So, why am I telling you about it if I do not recommend it? It is because I want to warn you about its risks, so you can make an informed decision if you want to use it or not.

As you trim the pacifier, it gets weaker. Small pieces might break off, and that is a serious choking hazard. Even if you are super careful, there is always that chance, and that is not something you want to take a risk on.

Second, it might not work the way you hope. Your child might still keep using the pacifier, even if it is not as satisfying anymore. They might even start chewing on it more, which can create even more problems.

Think about how your child might feel. His favorite comfort object suddenly changes, and he does not know why. This can make him feel confused, which might make him cling to the pacifier even more.

There are better, safer ways to help your child give up the pacifier. You can create a fun, positive experience around giving it up. 

What to Avoid?

Weaning your child off the pacifier is a big step, and as much as there are things you should do, there are also things you should steer clear of.

Stay Consistent

Stick with your decision after you have decided it is time to say goodbye to the pacifier. If you cave in and buy a new pacifier after a little fussing or discomfort, it sends mixed signals. Consistency is key to helping your child adjust. It is okay if there are some bumps along the way - just keep moving forward, and your child will get used to the change.

Handle “I Am Not Ready” moments with empathy

Your child might say something like, "I am not a big kid yet," when you talk about giving up the pacifier. It is important not to make him feel like he is failing. Instead, show understanding and gently talk about the positives of growing up. Remind him that growing up comes with new and exciting things, even if it feels a bit scary at first.

Do not leave any pacifiers behind

This one is important! It sounds like common sense but so often we forget to do a thorough sweep of the house. After you have had the big "goodbye" ceremony for the pacifier, make sure to check every nook and cranny for any stray pacifiers. If your child finds one later, it can be confusing and may undo all the progress you have made. 

Keep the excitement in check

While it is great to stay positive, going overboard with excitement can sometimes stress your child out. Keep things calm and reassuring. You want to create a supportive environment, not one where your child feels overwhelmed by all the fuss.

Avoid saying the pacifier will go to another baby

It might seem like a good idea to tell your child that his pacifier will go to a new baby, but this can backfire. Your little one might start feeling jealous or upset when he sees another baby with a pacifier. Instead of making things easier, this can stir up negative emotions and make the process even tougher.

Remember, this is a big transition for your child, and your steady support will make all the difference.